Motherhood

Wow, how difficult it is to choose a school to take your child to! Mothers should be warned of how attached they’re going to be to their first child! As each day passes I fall more and more in love with my little girl. I can’t even imagine someone else spending time with her, looking after her, or shaping her little mind. I so want to protect her from every possible horror if that’s even possible. I try to convince myself that I must be reasonable, and that since I am desperate to have a life again that I must begin parting from her slightly. When it comes to my child I have decided that children will be as secure or insecure as you allow them to be. If you are afraid of messing up then the likelihood is that you will project that feeling onto your child and she will become someone else. You shape each other. I was waking up each morning venting and complaining, moody as hell because of a lack of sleep, being in a constant slump and my husband not quite understanding me enough to halve the burden. Little did I realize that every complaint, was an unwelcome sound to my litte childs ears. Here I was teaching others to be good parents and better people and yet I forget to listen to my own voice. Whilst at the park today I realized that we are all about image and yet the image which we give out is probably not one that we would be very keen on if we were truly in a state of absolute awareness. We are so concerned with being right so that people will like us, so much that we don’t even stop to actually play with our children. Why go to the park with your child when you are more concerned with keeping up with your facebook chat, or if you are simply going to scorn your child about not being a man because he is a little shy to play with a girl. If children cannot even trust their mothers then who on earth can they trust? Will leaving your child and not telling them you’re going out not create insecure and unbalanced individuals who in reality will not be able to become fully functional citizens of the world? Those who distrust the world keep people at arms length, critisizing and scorning attachments which they ultimately long to have. Being a parent is not just a job for me, its a calling, its a lifestyle, its a reason to wake up in the morning. Someone other than you depends on you. Someone actually cares if you wake up in the morning. Someone places all of their faith and trust in you. The least you could do is pay them the due respect you would wish to be treated with. Children are little people, they are not invisible. Stop treating them as if they are second class citizens. You were once just like them…

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