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We all play a bit of sport hoping to win and get downhearted when it doesn’t happen. There’s a secret in the winning though and it really isn’t a secret at all, it is those who play like they have already won that are the ones to win. Those who play knowing that the outcome makes no differenece but the initial feeling you take into the game that drives it.
Life is alot like this. A game we all play because inevitably we have to. If we don’t play the game, we won’t even come close to life. If we don’t play with the right attitude though, we are bound to be doomed to persistent failure, and there’s nothing worse than feeling like a constant failure.
Now it’s one thing to actually be a constant failure and another thing believing you’re one. There is a slight difference and yet, they are both the same thing, because as someone great once said, whether you think you can or you can’t, you are absolutely right. The reality is that our feelings are energy put into motion, so we decide what we will feel. Sure for some it is harder than others to get out of a pattern of failure and negativity, and for others it seems easy, but for those where it is easy, it was probably damn hard in the beginning to master this attitude and lead it to reflect onto their life.
Social media displays celebrity lifestyles as glamarous and pretty much easy, but behind the scenes their struggles are as real as everybody elses. Psychology only now teaches how to parent children in the correct way, and still most don’t get it right, however back in the 1800’s children were considered less than. They were not to be spoken to and not heard. Their opinions didn’t matter. To put it bluntly, children, and in effect the worlds future adults were not given the opportunity to feel worthy, to climb the social ladder with confidence. They were wretched with low self-esteem and character issues that that the world had to suffer the repurcussions of their deep seated anomalies through war and poverty. To be fair, the world is still suffering in parts of the world but I would like to think we are slowly awakening.
People are focusing more on EQ lately and not so much on IQ anymore. Though the significance of IQ will probably never diminish, EQ is becoming equally as important since this allows for healthy relationships and good social skills which are imperative to survive and live a functional life in todays day and age. Emotional intelligence is by far more important for me for without this crucial ability to gauge ones emotions and contemplate the emotional impact one has on others, one simply becomes a machine, working through society for ones own purpose and not for the greater universal good.
Now you may think that to win in life it is far more important to focus on ones own growth and disregarding others, but the truth is that ying and yang have a very important role in our life: balance. When we are balanced, in fact when everything is balanced then we come to the most functional outcome. The Greeks always say: “Pan metron ariston” this literally means “everything in moderation”. Too much of a good thing is bad. So to conclude, winning is important, but so is being a decent human being and with the right amount of focus on the right stuff, a little can go a long way.
So 8 weeks to go and still I’ve not washed any clothes, the crib is still not put together . His room is a mess and he still has no name. I guess you’re wondering what I have been doing for the last 32 weeks. Well I’ll tell you. The first few weeks I was pretty much in denial, contemplating and trying desperately to understand why I was being punished so that I would have to go through yet another birth and another dreaded pregnancy. Now the first pregnancy wasn’t all that bad, in fact it was exciting at times. The birth on the other hand, well there’s no point in me giving you my view since each birth is subjective. Nonetheless, I felt a heaviness in the pit of my stomach as though it would be the end of the world and that after all my efforts to be the best possible mother for my dear Gabrielle, my fears of exposing her to jealousy and insecurities were coming to life. How could I now possibly avoid this scenario? When would I find the time for two children who deserved the world of happiness and the best possible experience of childhood one could offer? I simply couldn’t fathom the possibility and gave my self up to the defeated idea that I would be a terrible mother that would blame my children for my venting and inabilities to control them and my own life. I was doomed!
At some point in the second trimester, something changed. I’m not quite sure what or how, but I was suddenly in the scenario where it just was not an option not to give my Gabby the best of both worlds. Who was I to deny my beautiful precious angel the loving experience of childhood that she so deserved. I decided firstly that there was no way I would stand in the way of that and secondly, why should a second child, or a sibling deny her that experience when he too deserved the very same. It is up to me to make it work right. So the second trimester was pretty much me warming up to the idea and convincing myself that if I couldn’t do it, there are hundreds of resources out there to help me make it work and I still believe that.
Coming into my third and last trimester and realizing I’ve done bugger all to prepare myself physically other than prepare myself emotionally I can’t help but laugh. I just hope the little munchkin takes his time for now and I get a chance to at least wash his clothes and prepare his bed. Recalling what it was like the first year with Gabby being a baby, I think I can safely say that everything will be okay. Its just a baby, and though it will be hard having a demanding, tantrum driven toddler running after me, I think I can safely say, with 8 weeks to go, I am finally excited to meet my handsome little boy!
~In order for hope to come alive truly she must die a tragic heartwrenching death and enter the world again with a new freshness. Through her strength, courage and tenacity she helps us find true meaning!~
Pain is an irritating and overbearing companion that does not linger but makes its presence very known to its host. Its like a parasite however even the host sometimes gets too attached to the pain. It becomes something that you can identify with, whether its physical or emotional, when pain becomes a companion, it’s usually pretty difficult to get rid of this hurtful friend. Now I’m calling him friend and companion etc because when we become accustomed to someone, we usually feel they hold some value in our life, whether this is fruitful or not, their purpose is felt, although maybe not understood. Pain justifies our excuses for avoiding life, or social obligations we might feel we owe to the world. It also provides a reason to seek out sympathy and to use the sympathy card in situations where you feel it can be used. Sometimes though, and perhaps too often of the time, pain becomes a parasite that one cannot get rid of. It reaches beyond the surface and drives you to situations you perhaps don’t wish to be in. You feel stuck, but because you have used this excuse for so long, it is difficult to break the chain and live free from pain. Soon you find yourself isolated and even when you feel it’s no longer something you want in your life, you feel like you are too desperate and isolated. And perhaps you feel that you are the pain. This is the crucial moment where disease becomes introduced into your body. If you do not step away from the pain, be it physical, emotional or spiritual then it latches on and becomes you or so you may believe. It is often times very difficult to differentiate the two because in truth we were all born to die, and we will at some point but the key thing in life is to live, and when you live you are not in pain, or at least you appreciate what pain brings to light, address it and move on from it. Spiritual healers or energy healers can be your guide in seperating yourself from the pain and assist you to continue on your path of purpose. Steer clear of the traps that are thrown at you in life, for they will drag you downwards.
Remember always who you are, and that is a loving being, created in love. We all were, even if it is for just some moments, or some time, we were brought into this world in love. Hold that vision and it will become clear who you are, apart from the pain.
“MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING” By Viktor E. Frankl – http://wp.me/p4MUmj-5v
I write you today upon hearing the grave news that another heinous mass shooting has happened, this time in Roseburg, Oregon. We learned today that at least 10 people have lost their lives, and at least 7 have been injured.
I write you this letter so that you can see the face of a survivor. I write you this letter as someone who saw with my own eyes the horror of a mass shooting, a shooting that took the lives of my twin and younger sister and injured my father at New Life Church in December 2007. And most importantly I write this letter to open a dialogue about the role that gun violence has played in our country.
I say specifically to open a dialogue, because I am not strictly anti-gun. I feel that I am in a unique place to address this issue. About 3…
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