Oblivious…

Each day we wake up to this beautiful view, regardless of whether we see it or not. It is always there. Each day our world is filled with amazing things and we can either choose to see them or we can choose to be ignorant of them. I try everyday to be thankful, to be in gratitude of the wanders of this beautiful earth, and all the other riches I have been blessed with, my children, my freedom, my family, my abilities, my health, and still there is so much to be greatful for.

It has been scientifically proven that when we are in an attitude of gratitude our life is far more positively affected. Things go better and our day is generally more pleasant. So many NLP practitioners, gurus, psychologists etc have vouched on this idea that what we focus on is what we become. It is no wonder quotes like, “we are what we eat”, “you are what you thinketh”, “whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right” are quoted everywhere we look, that is if we look for it.

See the thing is what we pay attention to is usually what we get more of. If we keep focusing on the pain, simple, we get more of it, we focus on more good things, more good things come. Now I’m not trying to simply argue my way into your brain and convince you that the law of attraction is as real as you believe it to be, I am promising you that because you thought about this and questioned it, the answer is right here for you. I’ve had stupid examples come to me to prove this fact, and when I say stupid I mean stupidly impossible, I wouldn’t have believed them unless they happened to me. Should I tell you, of course but I’ll just tell you that if you ¥ou think about a convoy of blue cars repeatedly and leave the thought to nestle in the universes grasp, it will likely be what you see. If you joyfully delight the universe to bring you back your child’s balloon on a very windy day, without any human intervention, then yes this will happen to you. It happened to me. I sometimes get all down in the dumps and wonder about the way the world has come to reveal itself to me and then I see how everything has unfolded is because I have placed it all there, consciously or unconsciously. Maybe I’m a bit weird, maybe I believe in miracles too much, maybe I want too much to trust a God I cannot see, but the funny thing is I do. Without a shadow of a doubt, I really do. My son is a Miracle that I have been blessed with. My life has pretty much fallen into place. I have no real worries and am not desperate in any way. I am just here, grateful and trusting. I am pushing on and believe that God brings certain people into our life for our own good. He sometimes brings cleverer people to us to show us what we can learn, and other times he brings less fortunate people into our lives to help us nurture our compassion. The thing is we get to choose. Day in and day out, how we wish to be. When we focus continuously on this knowing, that we are a creator of our reality and not just a follower of it, as Abraham’s teachings have come to share with us, we can and will create something more beautiful. When we do this daily on a consistent basis, most of the time, it won’t be all of the time at first, because when you’re weighed done by alot of dense frequencies, this is what you are getting, but the tipping  point will start to shift when the lighter feeling or frequencies begin to be more dominant in your day to day process. It only takes 17 seconds to be oblivious to the world around you. 17 seconds to focus on something beautiful and build on that momentum. When you try to keep this state going for a few times a day to start with, the good feeling will begin to override the bad feelings, not just once, but over and over again. Isn’t this a wonderful realization? If you’ve been depressed, and tried this time and again without much success, I have no magical potions to offer you, but this, noone, yes not any one person on this planet can change it for you. Try as they may, they cannot. It is you, that have to make the shift, it is you that have to just allow the energy to move through. It is you that has to make the commitment to feel good all of the time, to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt you are the creator of your reality, that what you put in you will get back, that when you are not in sync with the source of who you are, then you will only get more of what you don’t want in life, negativity, depression, hate, contrast, as Abraham calls it. Without this anger and depression and all that is on the other end of the high flying scale, you would not actually see what there is to be, and it is beautiful when you see it. Maybe it’s just a glimpse, maybe it’s just for a short time, whatever it is, in the moment of realization, that you acknowledge that the feeling of wonder came from a part of you that is dying to come out, you will awaken to a world that can be and can continue to be, if you just surrender to the peace within and begin to focus on nurturing that, for as long as you can, be it seconds, minutes hours or days. Get into the practice of allowing the oblivion to overcome you, to allow the good feeling to speak over you and when you are there, creating a positive momentum, you will be able to more easily rise into more emotionally rewarding moments. I had a refreshing moment of clarity yesterday about communication with your children, but which applies to communication with all beings. Abraham said choose your disc and then talk to your children and something inside me just clicked. I’ve studied so many books about children, I’ve had so many parents talk to me about their children and this one piece of advice if incorporated into every conversation I’ve ever had with anyone about their children could have gone a tremendous amount better had I just thought about this. Sometimes we look so hard for a solution when a solution is not available to us from a lower vibration. We need to get into a loving vibration to be able to hear what is being said to us, in order to accept what is always available for us to hear. There is no need to block out what is naturally attempting to speak to us through love and compassion. There is no need for that at all. We simply need to decide to be on this page and make it happen, because as Iyanla VanZant said just the other day in a talk about healing our lives, there is nothing your Holiness cannot do. Nothing. We are all a source of good, tapping into that you will find better clarity into who you are and begin to remember a time that could have been if you only allow yourself to surrender to that Holiness within you. So if you’re going to allow the wind to just take you anywhere, at least make sure it takes you to a good feeling thought, stay there and begin to feel the moment inspire in you the magic of miracles, gently….

Permission to Pee!

It’s a strange feeling having someone ask you for permission to pee. My daughter turned to me yesterday and asked me if she could go to the toilet. I was shocked. I couldn’t quite fathom why she would need my permission. It dawned on me then that the whole education system is designed to entrap children and stop them from being free. We are fooled as parent to believe that they will be learning how to think, how to be disciplined and all the rest of the benefits that schools provide, but what they don’t tell us is that really what they’re doing is encaging their spirits, disabling them of the intrinsic freedom they are born with. It’s no wonder the word job means just over broke. Has anyone who has a job ever questioned this? It struck me dilly when I heard this. Another crazy word you may not be familiar with is the Greek word douleia, which again literally translated means slavery.

I always knew I wanted to work for myself, that I couldn’t be making someone else money while I was doing a good job. That’s why I went to study and aimed for a profession. In the end, even that turned out to be ridiculous because the amount of money I invested into studying, would take decades to be remade at the rate our economy is going. I had to work a few dead end jobs and take enough abuse from employers while my children sat at home and were raised by someone else to finally decide that I was no one’s puppy. I would not be trained to do as they wished, I decided to train myself. It took me several years to hit this turning point in my life and only a few weeks to change the habits I had so long engraved into my day to day life.

Grating through depression and learning to be thankful for everything, even the bad things in life took some hard work but I am finally able to get up in the morning and bless my day, my children, my home and my love. I now go through the day thanking the universe for all the wonderful things that I have been blessed with. I even thank it for things I don’t have but want which I know I can have. I know now that nothing is impossible but that the world is filled with endless possibolities, however it’s upto us to find them.

😊

Mind Control

Does the idea of mind control when mentioned bring a sort of desire to control others? Perhaps it even brings about the desire to hypnotise others in order to get what one wants. What I am talking about here however has nothing to do with anyone else except for yourself. When I refer to mind control I am referring to you having the very control of your own mind. For some this may be simple, however for most it surely is a vast challenge. This all begins with the notion of discipline for without having discipline, we cannot control our own minds, and when we cannot even control our minds, there is very little that we can control. This usually leads to a variety of emotional issues that feed into the ego and affect our lives first and then the lives of those around us, mostly our children and our spouse.

For alot of people, their minds are on autopilot, thinking in a certain way, judging and analyzing their surroundings and alot of the time they are not fully present in their current situation to completely arrive at honest observations that are not tainted by the influence of the past and the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘what ifs’. Each person comes into this world for a certain reason, or so most believe, as do I. Heck even if this is far from the truth, we at least owe it to ourselves and to those around us to be honest and true to ourselves firstly and be happy so that we are able to offer the best for our lives. So, in order to be happy, we should be able to be the director of our own lives, not merely believing we are…

One way to remain in control is to challenge ourselves. By challenge, I mean, make a list of things that are difficult for to do. Everyday or random acts that one has difficulty with. Each day or week or for as long as you need to perfect something, and instil it as a habit, choose to oppose it and go against it for the good of yourself. For example, if for a long time you have wanted to quit smoking and be healthier, challenge yourself every time you desire a cigarette to go against the desire and convince yourself that you are doing it for the better parts of you. We all have a little devil and an angel lurking about our inner beings but we often believe we are doing something for ourselves and feel we have a right to do so, that we owe it to ourselves to do things that make us happy, ignoring the fact of the overall good and our overall happiness. One way to consider this is to consider that both parts in you, the one that desires the cigarette, and the one that desires good health, are looking out for you, only the one is fooling itself and is probably driven by the ego.

It’s important to start off with small things. Lets say you love sleep but at the same time you are one of those people who complain there is just not enough time in the day. Challenging yourself each day to wake up a little earlier, say 5 to 10 minutes just to meditate or make a to do list for the day. Just like we like to be in competition with others and win over others in a game of chess, allow yourself to feel as though you are in a competitive game with yesterdays self. It’s easy to get swallowed up by the ego and feel like we are on the right path and doing everything we should be doing, but when we take inventory of what is working and what is not, we will soon realise that we are on our own side when we are in control of our mind, leaving behind the illusion of being in control and being on the defence constantly, getting taken in by the tides of the day.

Mind control is a discipline that one can practice just as golf, football, or even overcoming a lisp. It can seem hard to some and easier to others. Starting small with these little challenges can bring you into the direction you need to go to ask yourself the questions of where you are right now, whether you are present and aware of what your mind is doing. A lot of you may be familiar with the way our thoughts create things, and this is why it is so important to be able to distinguish what is going on inside our head and not simply moving to the flow of someone else’s agenda. I would love to hear your views on this topic and discuss this further.

Keep listening to the inner wiring of your brain map 🙂

B.E.T. (Behavior, Emotions, Thoughts) on Yourself today!

Time and time again we may invest in something because we like the sound of it. It promises so much, investing money, time or whatever else there is to invest. We get excited for a while and then a few days into it, we hit a block, we struggle to seek the right advice or do the research we need to do to overcome the obstacles in front of us and we fail to commit. Commitment being the key word here. We sit with the fear and uncertainty of being ridiculed. There is an old Japanese saying; “Kikuwa ittoki-no haji, Kikanuwa matudai-no haji” meaning, “To ask a question is a shame of a moment. Not to ask the question is a shame (regret) that lasts for your whole (eternal) life.”

Remaining in the comfort zone of ones routine, and essentially the life one might despise is what we know, choosing to ignore the fact that we have the choice to move beyond that zone and into a more exciting and fulfilling zone that will give us everything we ever dreamed of or wanted. The key is to commit and focus on the life you want rather than the life you have created with your limited thoughts and perceptions, that were shaped by parents and society that knew no better way of assisting you in creating the mind first that would get you to where you want. It’s a shame that we are not taught in school the necessary skills that will shape our mind and lead our life to be what it is today.

Think about the way you think and the things that you focus on. Are they positive or negative? Are you able to lead yourself away from an uncomfortable emotion and re-channel your energy into a positive one? For most people this is a daily struggle, and quite frankly, most don’t even realize they are being led by festering mind that has become rotten with useless information that is transferred to us by the media and the likes. If you’re one of those people that keep searching for a way to change but keep falling into the trap of going being to your old ways I will ask you one question which I heard in a lecture made once by John Assaraf. He was asked once by someone:  “Are you interested in becoming a millionaire or are you committed to it?”.

So now I will ask you a similar question. Are you committed to change or are you simply interested? Change for you can mean anything, it can mean losing weight and getting fit, saving some money to go on that long awaited holiday, getting the dream job you have always wanted, or simply becoming a more organized person. The question is, how serious are you about this? Do you have mediocre feelings about this or are you ready to say, your life depends on it, or better yet, your children’s lives depend on it. Not your own, but your children. If you think about it, the way you live your life, if it is halfhearted or committed to all you do, the sad reality of this is that you are not only not living the life you want which may lead to regret, but you are also creating a prime example for your children on how they should think and live their lives. They don’t know any better and if you think they have their own minds to make up at some point you are sadly mistaken, because they will ultimately adopt the closest role model which they relate to and not necessarily the best one.

So how do you feel about this? What emotions are stirred inside of you? Stick with this for a minute and allow yourself to react. Does this realization lead you to feel shameful or upset in any way? If so, then this is a feeling you need to change. We are raised to feel inadequate or less than, not because we are, but because almost everyone is preoccupied with everything else rather than what is happening right now. As Pam Grout describes in her book E Squared about ‘A course in Miracles’; “Once you develop a thought system of any kind, you live by it, and teach it”. From a young age, while your mother breast fed you, the likelihood is that she was preoccupied with disciplining the other children. “Stop fighting with your brother Jenny!” Or “Ashley do your homework!” or perhaps she was simply thinking of all the things she had to do in the day. This unconsciously sent you a message that you were not enough. Because you were not being given the time you were entitled to be engaged with. Most mothers or caregivers have no idea that they are doing this and to be fair, you cannot blame them, because their mothers probably did the exact same thing. Or when picking you up from school or bathing you or the little time that was spent with you, was usually spent scolding you or correcting you, because there is always a better way. Of course there is. Children are always learning to better themselves, they can’t possibly know how to do everything perfectly from day one, otherwise everyone would be born the same age and die the same age. Don’t feel bad however, because most of the world was raised this way. It’s up to you now to take a REAL look at your life and create VALUE and appreciation where it is well deserved.

The first step you need to take and this is one not to be taken lightly is to simply commit. I say simply, because it really is that easy to make the decision to better your life. It’s much harder to watch your life going from wishy to washy and letting other people or factors control your life. It’s also far less rewarding. Once you have taken the first step and decide that you are all in, BET on yourself.

Behavior is the first step in this equation only because it is the easier to control than our emotions and thoughts. With this in mind, how we behave usually affects the way we think and feel. If we behave in a way that is consistent with our beliefs, then we are constantly standing up for ourselves or if you like cheering ourselves on in the game of life. When you allow other people to determine how you should behave, for example, you are asked by a colleague to help them with a project and you have your own deadline to meet in a few hours. You know you should say no but you feel guilty not to help. When you do help them even though you know you don’t have time, you are stomping on your own work ethic. A polite “give me a few hours and I will help you” would surely be appreciated. People appreciate honesty. You also allow them to do the right thing and avoid falling into the trap of feeling guilty when they find out you didn’t have time to help them to begin with. Another simple example is the clothing you wear, although this is not so much a behavior, it is an extension of who you believe you are.  Rappers wear their pants with their underwear half showing, lawyers tend to suit up, perhaps these are stereotypes, but we have created them and it makes sense that our attire will say a lot about who we are. When you look presentable, you will also feel good about yourself. A little something we tend to underappreciate. Dressing how you would like to be and behaving positively also reinforces the thought. So whether you think you are amazing, great and lovable or whatever aspect pf yourself you wish to place value on will most of the time be determined by what you wear and how you behave. When you behave in a way that is consistent to your beliefs you reinforce the emotions and thoughts that are associated with those actions. For the next few days take note of how you behave, when you are on your own or with others. Does it feel right? Is there something you wish you could change? You will notice that when you allow your attention to be placed on your behavior, you will automatically want to behave in a way that is consistent with your values. Behaving as though you are on auto-pilot will no longer be an option.

Emotions are the second part of this equation. Now it may seem more logical that thoughts should come before emotions but this is not the case. Our emotions usually determine our thoughts. When we feel down, we usually reinforce this with a thought such as, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m such a loser”, or ‘I can’t even cook a meal”. When we feel a certain way, our thoughts are influenced, which in turn affects the mood of our day. How many times have you woken up late for work only to find yourself stumping your toes everywhere and forgetting where you left your keys (https://www.facebook.com/fylaktiskeyholders/). If you take a moment in bed before rising whether you’re late or not, just to feel gratitude, stretch for a minute or so and smile to yourself (behavior) even if you feel groggy and don’t want to, you will find your mood will shift to one of positivity and your thoughts will also go something like, ‘okay, what have we got on the agenda for today?’, instead of ‘oh crap, I’m going to be late again” and a wave pool effect is created.

As discussed before your thoughts are determined by your emotions and your behaviors, and in truth these are all interlinked, like the chicken and the egg question. Which came before which? It’s not absolute that our behaviors affect our emotions and these our thoughts, in fact most would say your thoughts affect your emotions and in turn these your behavior. I like to look at things differently. It’s certain that most millionaires or famous sports players are not in the frame of mind they need to be 100% of the time. This is absolutely impossible. It is possible however to train yourself to be committed to altering your energy so that it does not affect your life or better yet, so that it affects your life positively. You’ve all heard the saying you are what you eat, or what you think you become, and whether you think you can or not, you’re right. Now I don’t know if these quotes go exactly like this, but you get the gist of what I am saying.

If you look at all therapies and all self-help books etc., every motivational speaker from NLP to hypnotism all talk about these three things with thoughts being at the core, because how we talk to ourselves is of the utmost importance. Learn to love yourself and speak to yourself consciously as though you were talking to your child or to a valued friend. You wouldn’t dream of talking down to them or insulting them now would you? Next time you find yourself talking to yourself in a derogatory manner, stop and just listen to yourself. Your ego will feel ashamed simply because it now has an audience; an audience who disapproves of scolding. Using positive self-talk will improve your mood. Who ever felt motivated by negativity or scolding? If your parents talk to you badly or your teachers punished you when you were young for not doing things, or doing things wrong, the only reason you would do whatever it was or try again, was because you probably felt ashamed or afraid. If you were steered on positively and coached in a manner that fostered kind loving emotions, you would probably try harder and be keener to attempt whatever it is you were trying to achieve. Keep this in mind next time you talk to yourself. If you find difficulty being positive when it comes to your inner child, try listening to some of Louis L Hay’s Inner Child meditation exercises. They can help improve the way you look at yourself to begin with.

References:

http://www.amazon.com/E-Squared-Do-It-Yourself-Experiments-Thoughts-Reality/dp/1401938906

http://mybrainandi.com/music-and-the-brain/#comment-110

Who controls your mind?

 

Who is in control of the world’s mind? Who holds the remote control? Is it God, is it the Media? Is it the Government in power? The idea of mind control is a huge subject. Are we in control of our own minds? Have a think about it. I would have to say that this has nothing to do with anyone else except for yourself. When I refer to mind control I am referring to you having absolute control of your own mind. For some this may be simple, however for most it surely is a vast challenge. This all begins with the notion of discipline for without having discipline, we cannot control our own minds, and when we cannot even control our minds, there is very little that we can control. We become puppets in a puppet show and at the end of it all, we will have nothing to show for it if we do not take control of the puppet strings. This usually leads to a variety of emotional issues that feed into the ego and affect our lives first and then the lives of those around us, mostly our children and our spouse. We can blame the media all we want, our parents, the economy, but the fact is, the result of our lives, usually stems from a lack of disciplining our own minds.

Each person comes into this world for a certain reason, or so most believe. Heck even if this is far from the truth, we at least owe it to ourselves and to those around us to be honest and true to ourselves firstly, to others and live life peacefully and happily. For the most part this means without conflict but it also requires one to live with a large degree of positivity, whilst providing purpose and value in our life. No single person was put on this earth, be it by God or by his own creation, to simply suck out the oxygen of the world and deprive the next person of this valuable element. Each person has worth and each has the right to live well.

There are only two ways to live life however: actively and passively. The world mostly caters for the latter and if you think about the way the world works, we are unconsciously designed to live passively. We are taught to use our brains from 9-5, during school hours, to come home and watch television, to hire help instead of organizing our own households. Even the way technology is progressing, everything is becoming one touch operated, making life simpler and easier, yet medical researchers have demonstrated over and over again that Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and various others illnesses develop as a result of inactivity of some parts of the brain. A recent study demonstrated with individuals with Parkinson’s, after riding bicycles the effects of the disease were lessened to a great extent. Something in the activity of riding a bicycle obviously triggers parts in the brain which gives it the ability to cope better. It is also well known that by keeping our minds active and taking different routes to work every day, basically stimulating the brain daily somehow prolongs Alzheimer’s if it is to occur. The key is to avoid living life on autopilot and to actively engage and BE AWARE AND PRESENT in EVERYTHING THAT WE DO.

 

The effects of social media unfortunately are hugely debilitating since they keep us plastered to a chair, passively roaming the net, or watching sitcoms for hours on end without the thought of things we need to be doing in order to attain the life we want. On the other hand we work all day for someone else and when we finally have time for ourselves and our families, we ‘choose’ to switch off because it is easier since we are drained from devoting all of ourselves to someone else and this mentality erases the desire to give 100% to ourselves as well. There is a way we can conquer this however if we take Rich Dad Poor Dad’s advice and work for others as though we are working for ourselves, because in truth we are, however we devalue ourselves to such a degree that the only value we give ourselves, is the amount of the paycheck we receive at the end of each month.

We no longer memorize cellphone numbers, because our phones store these for us. Data is saved on computers and we know exactly where to access them. Now of course it is futile to memorize every number and recipe and is also virtually impossible to know everything there is to know that google provides the answer to, but keeping our mind active and engaged most of the time makes life so much more rewarding. We get stuck on Facebook watching what everyone else is doing, admiring, and pretty much wasting precious time which will NOT be returned to us. Time lost is forever gone and there is nothing you can do to get the minutes, hours and days back which you consciously chucked away. Yes sleep and resting is a wonderful and necessary part of life, but sleeping those 15 minutes extra in the morning is really not going to make such a huge difference. So unless you are a first time mother and seriously sleep deprived, SLEEP IS FOR THE DEAD!

When you aware and actively involved in your life as opposed to being a passive bystander taking orders, life takes a new and far more fulfilling role. You see things and hear things that you may never have noticed before. Your antennae’s are up and even opportunities that you would have normally missed you are now open to. Everything becomes a challenge because you now care, whereas before you may have only given precedence to things that affected you immediately or so you thought. In truth, everything that surrounds you affects you whether you grasp this concept or not. When you switch modes, you will find you have far more energy even for activities you previously loathed to do. Eckhart Tolle’s The power of Now does a brilliant job of bringing you into the present, making you aware of what you are and have right now, assisting you to focus on what’s important rather than dwindle away with the majority of the world.

If you are having trouble switching modes, there are so many resources that can help you get back on the right track, even if you feel you have never been on the right track. The key factor however is in making the Choice. You have to Choose to be in control of your own mind. There are no ifs buts or maybes about this. No Halfway houses or halfhearted attempts, because if that is how it’s going to be, I promise you now, you will never change your life and you will always be stuck on that one-way street, looking back at the end of it all and feeling hopelessly defeated. The wonderful thing is, that everyone, no matter how defeated, how worthless you may feel, how many years you feel you have wasted, whether you are retired or at the start of your life, there is always a second, or third or fifth chance. You can choose not to turn yourself away, even if the rest of the world seems to have done so. You can make the decision to start fresh, no matter where you are in life, and take your mind into your own hands. Once you wholeheartedly make the choice to never look back, you can begin to take real control and your life will begin to unfold before your very eyes. Make the choice today. It’s that simple. And no, I don’t have the answers for you, for we each carve out our own road to success. Only you know what you need for your life to be what you want it to be. Ultimately, we all know, we simply have to choose.

 

 

Why worrying serves no purpose

Waking up in the morning should provide you with a sense of bliss. Should it not? The very reason we awake is due to the fact that we are alive. There is purpose in the process of arising in the morning and yet most of us do it on autopilot. As with each decision and every moment, even morning should provide one with the choice of awakening. This luxury however has been taken away due to the way society works. We wake up to go to work, to school, to Uni etc. We tell ourselves that we are lazy to get up today and we create a negative cycle that creates a bad aura around the morning ritual which should in fact be sacred and filled with gratitude. We create a negativity around the things we do because we feel obliged to do them, as if our choice has been taken out of it. The truth is ithas not.

It is due to the fact that your heart continues to beat and your limbs still agree to function that you arise each morning. Now if illness has you stifling and struggling more than most to get up, of course this struggle is more difficult for you, but the fact that you awake, holds very much meaning. In awakening their is surely purpose for every little cell provides some function in the worlds anatomy.

I chose to awaken today with a smile on my face, regardless of my worry infested mind and my various issues that linger about. Today I would choose not to worry. Just for today. Each day I have a different strategy. Be it to be kind, to be productive, loving, organised, whatever the case. Today is my day for putting worry aside. strategy. Snd so I am.

Alot of smokers quit smoking this way. They decide that just for one day they do  not smoke. They take each day at a time without ever realising that they have stopped smoking simply because they had decided for one day that they would not smoke. So I have put worry in a pretty box. Put it aside andwill continue to do so until it is no longer an issue.

This can be done with whatever issue you feel is controlling your life, because WE are in control of our lives, but simply allow ourselves to believe we are not. When school and work takes away the bliss of awakening each day then we should be taking a step back and asking why, for it isn’t really those factors that have tampered with our juice to live, but our very own minds.

People are too suggestive and this is very dangerous. This is why we have created a world where war infested countries are just another fact and homeless children are ignored because there are millions and no one feels they can take responsibility for them. When people become a mind of their own they become powerful. How many minds did not follow the trend and become just another robotic being in society? So many talented human beings defied the statistics. Mozart, Van Gogh, Einstein heck even Stallone didn’t take no for an answer when he wrote Rambo. He insisted that it be screenplayed even after it was rejected time and time again.

Now I know you’ve heard this story before and are probably sick to death of being told that failure is not failure but success turned inside out. You’re probably wondering how people do it and think to yourself what a load of ballony. But its not. Its a decision. It may be hard at first but, determination is the only cure to a worry filled mind. Its like a switch. By being on constant alert of your thoughts and actions you are intune with your thoughts. This is the first step to controlloing the direction of your thoughts. Once you can control your thoughts, the rest becomes easier, because then you are not infected by the daily drama of others, but can move forward in the direction you intend to go into.

The beginning of Chooseday…

 

From day one, I knew there was something greater and stronger beyond me. I didn’t have anyone particularly tell me or guide me into this knowing that there was something far greater beyond us when we die. I just knew. Perhaps it was the guilt factor that played a role or the fact that we went to church and didn’t understand much, but even in those hours we spent going to church listening to the preacher preach in an ancient language, something profound was definitely communicated.

I went through life knowing that this life was simply material, and yet through my teens I placed so much emphasis on beauty and the outward appearance. I had a low self-esteem, though I knew I was loved unconditionally, there was something that was always missing. Perhaps it was just the confidence and the faith to be myself as God intended me to be, that was lacking. Though I always knew there was something great for me to do or to be, I always tended to shy away from the limelight to give others the space to shine, ironic since I wanted to become an actress. This resulted in me abandoning my dreams of becoming an actress and a writer and leaning toward a career in psychology, where I hoped to assist young minds in becoming all they could be, without the looming terrorist of low self-esteem lurking in their minds.

I tried again at university to pursue this purpose. It seemed I think to others that I had it all together, but deep down, something always told me, why should I be so special to guide the minds and the hearts of others. My fear engulfed me and although I stepped in with one foot, I never fully took the necessary leap to pursue this career completely. I held back, for fear that I was not good enough, and for fear that I may do more damage than good. It didn’t occur to me that those children that would come to me were far more damaged than I would realize and that a little love and support would go a long way, either way.

Cringing from the life I knew that was intended for me, I conformed. I became a mother and a wife, leaning towards careers that involved finances and chose to stay away from others issues in the hope that I would come closer to my own issues and hopefully cleanse my soul of the mud that I had dragged my mind and soul through. To my shock and horror, the further I got away from the helping career, the more distant I became from myself. I became once more the anger driven, cold hearted and determined woman that lacked focus on clarity on compassion on love. The positive person I had become had been demoted to a worry filled anxious wife and mother who not only drained herself but those around her. I had become unrecognizable to myself.  I was on my knees again financially, spiritually and was once again lifeless. The exhaustion of my mental state screamed through my body and I knew that if I did not do something to alter my state of mind and lifestyle, then the downward spiral would slowly destroy first and foremost my family, my children and disease would surely captivate my body as it does so many who are at unease with the lives they lead.

Thinking of ways to alter my lifestyle I began to pray, but prayer offered me only momentary comfort. I still felt unworthy of His Love. I began to think that perhaps it was my state that was affecting my husband and that this was perhaps one of the reasons he was so often out of work. I blamed him for so long for not being able to sell his work but had never considered that perhaps we were both on a path that separated us and that this caused greater harm to each of us individually. I got involved with so many internet marketing businesses, and began writing and promoting everything there was. I must have purchased over twenty promise filled life altering guru and energy healing psychobabble possible in the hope that my life would be altered. I knew however deep down that the truth was deep within me. That nothing would change if I did not devote myself to a life of purpose and love. God would not help me if I did not help myself. I had heard this quote so many times and had used it with others time and again repeatedly but never truly grasped the reality of what it meant. «God helps those who help themselves». The words rung through me like a loud ringing church bell. Yes he gives you the tools and promises support but never once does He  promise to do it all for you! He chases you with nagging voices and provides you with instinct to follow your purpose, He may even hold your hand through the difficult and trying times, but He cannot walk you through the door. Your legs are the ones that need to do the walking.  When your faith is low, He offers comfort and solace and tells you to come to him. He provides a corner and a moment to cry. Heck He even allows for a little self-pity, but there is a time when he nags you to take action against this sluggish falsifying and pitiful misery and He calls to you to come out of it.

There were so many times I heard this nagging resounding in my ears. The bed was too comfortable or a 9-5 job was too comfortable. Just the security of it all, and not having to move out of my comfort zone was far too soft and cushy. Friends and family offered opportunities that screamed purpose, but my heart was never there. Fear devoured me like a wolf devours sheep. I couldn’t shake the feeling. One thing I admit to, was my role as a woman. I felt responsible for so many other things that it was as if I would be taking away the breadwinning role from my husband. I didn’t want to shine, so that he could shine. What I didn’t realize however, was that by debilitating myself in this way, I was weakening the relationship. Being the best you, you can be is so much more attractive to the opposite sex. I knew this. Not only does it inspire those around you to follow their dreams, but it also opens up a whole new world of attraction that is based on pure love.

I had two weeks to go to giving birth to our child and only then was I beginning to feel as if something had to give. Things were looking desperate and perhaps this was my reason for climbing into this mode. I had my daughter at home sick with me so my time was limited. I slept far more simply to sleep with her in the hope that she would recover soon and return to school so that I could continue to find my purpose. Things just got worse however as the days progressed and I realized the more desperate I was, the less productive I was being. Time was no longer on my side. I had to do something. To change my behavior and attitude towards life and my family. I had to renew the essence of life. I had to reinvent my «joie de vivre!», and so it began!

I began with a strategy and called it Chooseday 🙂 Today I am happier, healthier and far more inspired by the little things in life.

 

Winning

We all play a bit of sport hoping to win and get downhearted when it doesn’t happen. There’s a secret in the winning though and it really isn’t a secret at all, it is those who play like they have already won that are the ones to win. Those who play knowing that the outcome makes no differenece but the initial feeling you take into the game that drives it.

Life is alot like this. A game we all play because inevitably we have to. If we don’t play the game, we won’t even come close to life. If we don’t play with the right attitude though, we are bound to be doomed to persistent failure, and there’s nothing worse than feeling like a constant failure.
Now it’s one thing to actually be a constant failure and another thing believing you’re one. There is a slight difference and yet, they are both the same thing, because as someone great once said, whether you think you can or you can’t, you are absolutely right. The reality is that our feelings are energy put into motion, so we decide what we will feel.  Sure for some it is harder than others to get out of a pattern of failure and negativity, and for others it seems easy, but for those where it is easy, it was probably damn hard in the beginning to master this attitude and lead it to reflect onto their life.

Social media displays celebrity lifestyles as glamarous and pretty much easy, but behind the scenes their struggles are as real as everybody elses. Psychology only now teaches how to parent children in the correct way, and still most don’t get it right, however back in the 1800’s children were considered less than. They were not to be spoken to and not heard. Their opinions didn’t matter.  To put it bluntly, children, and in effect the worlds future adults were not given the opportunity to feel worthy, to climb the social ladder with confidence. They were wretched with low self-esteem and character issues that that the world had to suffer the repurcussions of their deep seated anomalies through war and poverty. To be fair, the world is still suffering in parts of the world but I would like to think we are slowly awakening.

People are focusing more on EQ lately and not so much on IQ anymore. Though the significance of IQ will probably never diminish,  EQ is becoming equally as important since this allows for healthy relationships and good social skills which are imperative to survive and live a functional life in todays day and age. Emotional intelligence is by far more important for me for without this crucial ability to gauge ones emotions and contemplate the emotional impact one has on others, one simply becomes a machine, working through society for ones own purpose and not for the greater universal good.

Now you may think that to win in life it is far more important to focus on ones own growth and disregarding others, but the truth is that ying and yang have a very important role in our life: balance. When we are balanced, in fact when everything is balanced then we come to the most functional outcome. The Greeks always say: “Pan metron ariston” this literally means “everything in moderation”. Too much of a good thing is bad. So to conclude, winning is important, but so is being a decent human being and with the right amount of focus on the right stuff, a little can go a long way.

8 weeks to go!

 

So 8 weeks to go and still I’ve not washed any clothes, the crib is still not put together . His room is a mess and he still has no name. I guess you’re wondering what I have been doing for the last 32 weeks. Well I’ll tell you. The first few weeks I was pretty much in denial, contemplating and trying desperately to understand why I was being punished so that I would have to go through yet another birth and another dreaded pregnancy. Now the first pregnancy wasn’t all that bad, in fact it was exciting at times. The birth on the other hand, well there’s no point in me giving you my view since each birth is subjective. Nonetheless, I felt a heaviness in the pit of my stomach as though it would be the end of the world and that after all my efforts to be the best possible mother for my dear Gabrielle, my fears of exposing her to jealousy and insecurities were coming to life. How could I now possibly avoid this scenario? When would I find the time for two children who deserved the world of happiness and the best possible experience of childhood one could offer? I simply couldn’t fathom the possibility and gave my self up to the defeated idea that I would be a terrible mother that would blame my children for my venting and inabilities to control them and my own life. I was doomed!

At some point in the second trimester, something changed. I’m not quite sure what or how, but I was suddenly in the scenario where it just was not an option not to give my Gabby the best of both worlds. Who was I to deny my beautiful precious angel the loving experience of childhood that she so deserved. I decided  firstly that there was no way I would stand in the way of that and secondly, why should a second child, or a sibling deny her that experience when he too deserved the very same. It is up to me to make it work right. So the second trimester was pretty much me warming up to the idea and convincing myself that if I couldn’t do it, there are hundreds of resources out there to help me make it work and I still believe that.

Coming into my third and last trimester and realizing I’ve done bugger all to prepare myself physically other than prepare myself emotionally I  can’t help but laugh. I just hope the little munchkin takes his time for now and I get a chance to at least wash his clothes and prepare his bed. Recalling what it was like the first year with Gabby being a baby, I think I can safely say that everything will be okay. Its just a baby, and though it will be hard having a demanding, tantrum driven toddler running after me, I think I can safely say, with 8 weeks to go, I am finally excited to meet my handsome little boy!

~In order for hope to come alive truly she must die a tragic heartwrenching death and enter the world again with a new freshness. Through her strength, courage and tenacity she helps us find true meaning!~

Treating pain

Pain is an irritating and overbearing companion that does not linger but makes its presence very known to its host. Its like a parasite however even the host sometimes gets too attached to the pain. It becomes something that you can identify with, whether its physical or emotional, when pain becomes a companion, it’s usually pretty difficult to get rid of this hurtful friend. Now I’m calling him friend and companion etc because when we become accustomed to someone, we usually feel they hold some value in our life, whether this is fruitful or not, their purpose is felt, although maybe not understood. Pain justifies our excuses for avoiding life, or social obligations we might feel we owe to the world. It also provides a reason to seek out sympathy and to use the sympathy card in situations where you feel it can be used. Sometimes though, and perhaps too often of the time, pain becomes a parasite that one cannot get rid of. It reaches beyond the surface and drives you to situations you perhaps don’t wish to be in. You feel stuck, but because you have used this excuse for so long, it is difficult to break the chain and live free from pain. Soon you find yourself isolated and even when you feel it’s no longer something you want in your life, you feel like you are too desperate and isolated. And perhaps you feel that you are the pain. This is the crucial moment where disease becomes introduced into your body. If you do not step away from the pain, be it physical, emotional or spiritual then it latches on and becomes you or so you may believe. It is often times very difficult to differentiate the two because in truth we were all born to die, and we will at some point but the key thing in life is to live, and when you live you are not in pain, or at least you appreciate what pain brings to light, address it and move on from it. Spiritual healers or energy healers can be your guide in seperating yourself from the pain and assist you to continue on your path of purpose. Steer clear of the traps that are thrown at you in life, for they will drag you downwards.
Remember always who you are, and that is a loving being, created in love. We all were, even if it is for just some moments, or some time, we were brought into this world in love. Hold that vision and it will become clear who you are, apart from the pain.

In love.